An Introduction

Welcome To A Jackals Voice. The intention of this blog is to be an outlet for myself and others on topics that are not generally discussed...

Thursday, 12 January 2017


Recently I have discussed some of the various long standing conditions that have affected my life. whilst all of my previous posts are still relevant, today I have had a rather strange experience. As I have said before; over the last 11-12 weeks I have been unable to leave my home for extended periods due to my symptoms of excessive stuttering and uncontrollable movements. I used to be quite a social person (even with my anxiety) and these last three months have been hard for me to say the least. Until today.

This morning I awoke at around 6am, unheard of at the moment as of current medications and sleeping habits. Yet I was alert and not suffering as much as I have been with my muscular pains. Although in my home I have grown accustomed to feeling relatively "normal" and didn't think too much of it at the time. I had agreed to help out a friend with a few odd jobs this morning, so I was just pleased I had managed to get out of bed. I left my house around 7:30am and didn't get home until just after noon, by which point I felt odd. I say odd as a relative term, as today I feel.... fine. In fact so much so that my stutter is non-existent and the body movements have stopped almost completely. I feel capable of interacting with the world  and even went for a haircut. Granted that doesn't sound like much of an achievement, but for someone that hasn't be able to sit or stand still around others for 12 weeks, it meant a lot.
Up until just after getting my haircut I had been riding on a wave of euphoria, it was a relief to speak again. However the over analyzing part of my mind kicked in very suddenly; my speech was incredibly rapid, my pulse was racing and I was overheating noticeably. If not for the blissful feeling I'd have thought I was going to have an attack. With this in mind I tried to take a step back to observe myself in a more critical sense, normally something those with anxiety are discouraged from doing. I concluded that I may be having some degree of manic episode.

This type of behavior is not something that I am particularly familiar with, and I have only felt this level of personal well-being very rarely. Despite feeling much better in myself I have grown more concerned throughout the day. My symptoms have not returned, but neither have I calmed down. My speech is now impaired slightly because I can't speak the words I am thinking fast enough, and my bodily movements are more out of frustration than anything else. I have contacted my Doctor and Mental Health adviser and am now waiting on some advice from them.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? A complete change of attitude in a very short space of time? Heightened alertness, feelings of euphoria and racing thoughts? Please feel free to leave a comment below, your feedback is always appreciated. Or if you would prefer to send a message privately my e-mail address is on the contacts page.

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